M Van Vleet is a user on a.weirder.earth. You can follow them or interact with them if you have an account anywhere in the fediverse. If you don't, you can sign up here.

M Van Vleet @signalstation@a.weirder.earth

music from beyond Show more

total dear diary who cares Show more

A human figure with its head on fire judges the souls of a gaggle of school children.

A dark wolf-shape made of smoke and fear stalks a fleeing minivan.

A bird-faced creature with many arms emerges from behind a gate, which swings open, its lock damaged.

A thumping soundtrack with no visible source frantically asks (to a late-90s beat): Whooo let the gods out? ♫ Who? Who? ♫

handclap quarantine Show more

Can't believe so many of you fools paid so much money for compressed dirt to wear on your fingers. You can press dirt for free all day in your own home. Click here to support my Home Mud Diamonds Starter Kit on Kickstarter. At the lowest tier, I'll teach you how to make, like, a bajillion of them.

M Van Vleet boosted

Just got this month's Mr Guns subscription box: Three men's adventure novels every month!

This month includes:

The Meat Master: Spies of the Kremlin (vol. 8 of The BBQ Files) - The Meat Master meats(!) his match in Moscow's grilling underground!

Jake Stevens: SPY COLLECTOR! vol. 23 - Jake parachutes into Afghanistan to locate a Czech spy... mint on card!

The Demolitioner: Fists Over Tokyo - It's Slab vs Kenichi, fists versus feet, crime vs even more crime!

I am a cryptocurrency person too. I scanned every single paper bill I've ever had into a single "folder"-- or "virtual bank vault"-- and I will trade you any of these JPEGs (via USB key) for food.

gun snark pew pew Show more

Besides the benefit of the haircut itself, my local old-timey barber shop also gives me a chance to visit this comic that's almost as old as I am. a.weirder.earth/media/021AEQg5

Strange new neighborhood sidewalk shrine update: okay, I took a photo.

What I thought was just bird seed offerings actually seems to be nuts and butterscotch & white chocolate chips.

This little god has a sweet tooth!


Okay, wallets out, capitalist scum, 'cause we're disrupting the dirt market. How? Easy: there's an app. Duh.

You want dirt: use the dirt app. Dirt comes to you. Fills your home. So much dirt. You unlock loyalty rewards like a marble stone with your name on it, says you're in the dirt right there.

We got the dirt network in place. My pal Dave knows coding. You give us the funding and we'll have everyone six feet under and the profits won't stop ever, not ever. Money forever, dirt forever.

Walking to the train this morning, I passed a small clay shrine on a street corner. It consisted of a bowl and a tiny clay man who had lost an arm. The body was crude, just tube shaped-limbs like snakes, but the face was detailed.

Between its legs, bird seed.

I almost took a picture of this little god of bird hearths, but was too self-conscious, due to a group of construction workers standing nearby. (I prefer to take photos unobserved. Dunno why.)

So instead I'm telling you.

M Van Vleet boosted

@signalstation when I was in first grade, a teacher tried to tell us that since Hawaii and Alaska had become states, we had 52 states. I stood up and loudly announced she was wrong.

No amount of argument from authority could persuade me she was right, and she was not about to be corrected by a 7 year old.

It was not the last time I was sent to the principle's office but it was definitely the time I walked with my head held highest.

"What's a childhood anecdote that says a lot about you?"

As a child, the Evergreen Public Library was one of my favorite places in the world. My mother tells a story of setting me in the children's section and telling me to grab some books that looked interesting, then leaving me alone for a few moments.

When she got back, the floor was littered with books and I was still working my way down the aisle, leaving a trail behind me, pulling out more books of interest.

A dentist who has to get pre-fight worked up before removing plaque. Stomping around, slapping tables, taking deep breaths.

"WHOOOO! Okay, plaque, today I am going to MURDER you, bro! I'm gonna leave your body in the WOODS, bro! You ... you messed with the WRONG TEETH, bro!"

You brought a knife to a knife fight.

Well done.

I'm so glad you read the invite carefully. Thanks as well for the RSVP and for arriving promptly at the listed start time. Thus far, this has been our best organized knife fight yet.

M Van Vleet boosted

@signalstation for years I have labored to cancel gravity and dissolve these wretched planets back into the scattered matter from whence they came, but the space spheres continue to defy me

I didn't sleep very well last night so if anyone wants to cancel my local gravity and send me spinning off into the void, that would be fine, so fine.

This is an "at will" employment state. Which means you can walk up to anyone and, if you will it, they're now your employee. Pay them. Give them health insurance. They can't even stop you.

M Van Vleet boosted

happy valentines gay!!!!! GENDERWRECKED (by @VOID and me) is 50% off to spread that good good gay cheer :D

* make out with the sun
* be mean to a tree
* seduce a robodad

"A dating sim" -- IGN